Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse


Sexual Pleasure & Orgasm during abuse and / or rape.

(Content Note – non-graphic description of sexual pleasure during sexual abuse) We’ve noticed a running trend in our website searches recently, and we wanted to address what appears to be a gap in the information our site provides. The topic is still considered ‘taboo’, and very rarely spoken about. We’d like to help change that, more »

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‘Domestic Violence’ & Weak Women.

It’s a common perception that the women who ‘stay’ with violent men are weak both in body and mind, you often hear people say “why did she stay?” “If anybody ever hits me they’d regret it, it would be the last thing they ever do, I’d be gone”. There are also the “she must be more »

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Stamping victim blaming with Return to Sender!

As a ‘revenge porn’ victim (and as a woman) it’s not unusual to be turned down when we reach out for help. It’s unacceptable, bullsh%t…but still not uncommon. Its ok, serve up your rejection! Place it on our plate and put it right next to the extra large portion of determination, the scoop of tenacity, more »

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Understanding psychological trauma

Understanding psychological trauma The first thing to understand about trauma is that it is a unique personal experience: you can take a group of individuals exposed to the same stressor and find that the outcome for each varies considerably, according to pre-, peri- and post-trauma variables. These might include age, personality, prior trauma, cultural environment, more »

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‘They deserve all they get’; thoughts on victim blaming

This piece was first published here in November 2012. Unfortuately it is still very relevant – thanks to author for permission to cross post. The Guardian this weekend reports on one person’s reaction to the disclosures from victims of Jimmy Savile.  In referring to children at a residential, the interviewee states, “They didn’t tell me about more »

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Questions For A Victim

I don’t get it. Funny thing about abusive relationships- there can be both good times and bad times. Or you hold onto the good times. You convince yourself that things are not as bad as they seem, that you aren’t as miserable, trapped and terrified as you suspect you are. You convince yourself, just as more »

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Guilt is a Multi-Layered Thing

This post was triggered by twitter and a comment made by @CratesNRibbons that male celebrities that abuse women are forgiven but female celebrities that have addictions or that put on weight are hated I replied with ‘Yes, but you’ve missed out that the women that are abused are pitied then hated again because it was more »

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