Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

Robert Tiffin killed Lisa Banks

Robert Tiffin killed Lisa Banks. He chose to emotionally abuse her and he chose to kill Lisa. Contrary to the sub-heading of an article in the Chronicle, no decision made by Lisa Banks led to her brutal murder:

When Lisa Banks told loved ones she was going to marry Robert Tiffin they feared for her future. But never in their worst nightmares did they believe the mum-of-two’s decision would cost her life.

Lisa's murder was not the result of poor decision making on her part. It was because Robert Tiffin made the choice to kill her. Suggesting that Lisa's death was the inevitable conclusion of poor decision-making on her part is victim-blaming. It erases the reality of domestic violence and the grooming process of violent men. It ignores Tiffin's choice to kill Lisa.

I understand that the article in the Chronicle is about Lisa's parents, John and Doreen Banks, and their grief at the murder of their daughter by a violent man but this article simply blames Lisa for the relationship and her parents for not succeeding in "saving" her. It is so unbelievably unkind to publish an article in which Lisa is referred to as "making a mistake" that caused her death Mistakes are locking yourself out of your house or forgetting your purse; Robert Tiffin killed Lisa: not a mistake.

We need to teach children the warning signs of abusive men so that they can see the reality, however, we also need to understand how difficult it is for women to see abuse from within the relationship. Women are taught from infancy that boys pull their hair because they "like" them. Girls are taught that they have no say in who gets to kiss them or annoy them. If they complain, they are over-reacting. Our entire culture grooms women into believing they have no value and teaches men the correct way to manipulate and abuse women.

Lisa Banks is not responsible for being the victim of murder. The only person who is responsible is Robert Tiffin and to suggest otherwise is victim-blaming.

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3 thoughts on “Robert Tiffin killed Lisa Banks

  • […] has done a similar think in this post for Everyday Victim Blaming, reducing a very complex, hideous case into a series of cheap shots at […]

  • […] has done a similar think in this post for Everyday Victim Blaming, reducing a very complex, hideous case into a series of cheap shots at […]

  • Hecuba says:

    Not only must we teach girls not to believe mens’ lies that women and girls exist only to serve males and their needs. We must also teach women and girls that males who commit violence in any form against women and girls do so because males are enacting their male pseudo sex right to dominate and control women and girls. Going to the root of the issue which is pandemic male misogynistic belief that males have right of ownership over women and girls is essential if we are to debunk mens’ constant misogynistic women-blaming lies.

    Our Male Supremacist System continues to promote mens’ lie that once a male makes sexual advances to any female she automatically becomes his ‘sexual property’ and irrespective of whether or not she is interested in him – only he has the right of deciding if and when he will cease subjecting her to male sexual harassment.

    The same male mind-set exists when the man and woman are ‘dating’ or when the man and woman are in a long-term sexual relationship – he views her as his private sexual property and only he decides if and when he will end the relationship.

    Lisa Banks did not cause her death – Robert Tiffin made the informed choice to sadistically murder Ms. Banks because Tiffin believed Ms. Banks was his private male sexual property.

    But as usual men and their malestream media continue to excuse/exonerate/mitigate/justify mens’ pandemic violence against women and girls because men must never be held accountable for their choices and agency!

    I find it strange that men never blame males who have been murdered by other males because men know they have certain fundamental male rights including the right not to be blamed for supposedly causing another male to subject them to violence and even lethal violence!

    I wonder why malestream media never holds murdered men accountable for causing their own deaths by not taking steps to secure their safety but instead ‘provoked’ the male to murder them, because the murdered male believed his actions/behaviour would not be justification for the male to murder him!