Everyday Victim Blaming

challenging institutional disbelief around domestic & sexual violence and abuse

July, 2013

The ‘perfect victim’, internalised self-blame and our coping strategies

This post is inspired by a conversation with a friend – initially inspired by thinking about promiscuity and performative sex as related to sexual violence, we realised that much of our own experiences disrupted the ‘typical’ narratives about ‘recovery’ and trauma enforced by society. I feel like this is a huge topic, and our experiences more »

The Silencer – an open letter to those quick to defend, slow to reflect.

I am an EVB volunteer. This morning, another EVB volunteer challenged Mark Williams (@mwilliamsthomas) on this tweet (which was in response to this story http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-23513254).  “The story about the 12yr girl being raped in London in early hours of Sunday morning is horrific. But what was she doing out at that time?” The subsequent debate more »

Online abuse and the shirking of responsibility.

As recent events over the last week have continued to unfold, a sinister undercurrent of the denial of mysogyny in society has become more and more apparent. Laurie Penny appeared on Channel 4 News on the 29th July alongside Luke Gitto from Spiked. I listened wide eyed and in absolute horror as he said that more »

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Questions For A Victim

I don’t get it. Funny thing about abusive relationships- there can be both good times and bad times. Or you hold onto the good times. You convince yourself that things are not as bad as they seem, that you aren’t as miserable, trapped and terrified as you suspect you are. You convince yourself, just as more »

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Concerns About the Report Abuse Petition

We are hearing concerns about the petition for a ‘Report Abuse’ button on twitter. We share some of these concerns.  So, what’s the solution? Marginalised groups being ‘rude’ or ‘offensive’ to oppressors isn’t abuse.  It is anger.  It is understandable, and powerful – it should not be silenced. Being ‘nice’ or ‘polite’ does not mean more »

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No one is to blame for your child abuse images ‘addiction’ other than yourself

Online child abuse addict: ‘I was curious about images of teenage girls on the internet – a bit like car crashes. There’s a fatal fascination’  was the headline of a piece that appeared in the Indy on Wednesday 23 July 2013. Firstly, I really don’t like the use of the car crash analogy here, car more »

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6 year old put in special needs class for sexual assault

My 6 yr old daughter was put in a special needs therapy group and told repeatedly by teachers that a four month campaign of sexist bullying, including a sexual assault, wasn’t really happening to her and that her school was a happy school. When I petitioned the governors the school sought legal advise for getting more »

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